The Toilet

A Short Story (Some Adult Language

    

Early morning. The blood red sky filled the bay window, showing no car activity in the downtown roads below. He paused and savored the quiet moment, feeling close to his destiny. A few more moments to take in serene business district, and then he went inside to take care of business.  and looked under each bathroom stall to make sure no one occupied it.  No legs. No humming. No rustling of the paper to show that someone was reading in there. Nothing. No one. Jayden stood there like a deer, listening for any sudden noises for danger. Nothing for a few precious seconds, but then a noise. He snapped his pony tailed head around, his face pink already from holding the shit in, body heat rising from the neck until he looked like he was sunburnt. His shoulders sagged in relief. It was the automatic flusher in the toilet stall he’d just passed by. He waited a few more seconds until all he heard was the drip of the faucet from the washbasins. Drip. Drip. Gurgle as the water went down the sink. Time seemed not to move, but the anticipation grew in Jayden. He felt closer to the deed as it grew inside. His stomach bulged.

     Time to get to work.

     He moved towards the faucets, took off his pants and underwear in the middle of the bathroom. Jayden knew he was at his most vulnerable. He approached the urinals. There were six of them, and he had his pick. He chose the middle one as his throne. He felt like Royalty. He imagined the urinal gulping in dread, or maybe in anticipation. He got closer, his breathing increased. He felt his stomach rumbling, he had been holding it in. He need to get it done.

     The noises in the bathroom amplified for Jayden, providing the soundtrack for this deed. The gurgle of the toilet stall, the drip of the water faucet, the hum of the hand dryer, all of them matched his beating heart. He closed in on his fantasy: to shit in an urinal. The image always in his head when he took a piss.  He invented the image of who cleaned it. It aroused him to picture a person who walked in and caught his “prize”: fishing shit out of a urinal.

How does they do it? Scoop it out with hands or use a tool? The smell! 

He shivered in delight each time he thought about it. His shit coming out like a softie ice cream, making a nice little pile in the middle of the urinal, piping hot! Mom always praised his vivid imagination. Jayden saw it sitting there like a chocolate pudding no one dared eat. These images came to him when he entered a bathroom. Even when he shat in the toilet stall, he pictured sitting primly on the urinal letting it take his all. The urge grew, and Jayden he knew he had to do it. He needed to shit. He had to fill that urinal.

     Cleaning toilets was not a job Mark imagined doing, but it paid the bills.

“Look, I am a realist. I know no one wants to clean

bathrooms besides illegals, but I am paying $15 an hour just so I don’t have an immigration problem anymore. I ain’t gonna lie, it's a shitty job.” The supervisor paused, waiting for a smile, but Mark remained stoic.

“Get it? Shitty.”  The pudgy supervisor smile widened at his own joke, showing Mark his yellow teeth. The two front teeth were chipped in half giving him the stereotypical look that Mark knew so well from his old Hometown of Lexington, Kentucky. He nodded, his bald head shimmered in the harsh office room light. The chair creaked under his muscled body, but he didn't care. All his life he felt he needed to take care of himself so that's what he did. He needed hourly pay to live and write his novel. He didn't need much, just enough to work out, eat and write. So, he would clean bathrooms, do whatever it took to get the words down and the barbells up.

“Can I start today? I need an advance as I am new and need to find a place.”

For a few moments, silence as they locked eyes then a subtle nod from the supervisor, and Mark got the job. They shook hands.  He took the mop and supplies from the closet the fat man pointed at, and began work. Mark noticed how the fat man blanched when their hands touched.

Like I am one of those untouchables from India. I don’t give a shit. You think you are better than me? Fuck you.

Past dusk, most bathrooms empty, ensuring Mark worked undisturbed. Some floors buzzed with activity twenty-four hours a day as they handled all sorts of commercial transactions such as currency fluctuations on market conditions, first world type shit in the first world. Mark expected it to be busy, and he got into the rhythm of things.

Most times, it just meant he walked around and picked up left over toilet paper or wipe off piss off the toilet seats. How people could miss so frequently was beyond him, but he pretended it was water and wiped it off using gloves he purchased on his own after he noticed that was missing from the supplies. Something about budget cuts or some shit. It drove him crazy that big guys always tried to nickel and dime on the small shit, but it didn't matter. He had a job to do for some times. Easy peasy.

     Jayden sat on the urinal, balancing himself and waited for his body to let lose.  Nothing. He strained but to no avail. He waited a minute more, surrounded by the bathroom noises. Drip. Gurgle. Random flush.  Nothing. He saw himself on the mirror across from him and the image embarrassed him . His arms on his knees. Just a loose t-shirt on top and him sitting squarely on the urinal. A dream come true. But nothing came out.

Come on, come on, come out like soft ice cream.

 Instead, after straining with all this might, a little liquid stream came out. Five long whole minutes went by which felt like an hour. He dreaded the door opening, and someone walking in, and the conversation that would take place.

What the fuck would I say?

Finally, he got up and rushed to the toilet stall to wipe himself. 

Next time. Oh yes, there would be a next time.

     Mark liked the flexibility of the night shift. Fixing messes, arranging them into neatness reminded him of how he revised his writing.  He saw some patterns. Night meant mostly refilling toilet supplies, and the occasional shit drip left in the toilet bowl or the unflushed toilet.. Clean shit and before that, flush toilet. But still the work was easy, and he could write while listening to music . He grooved to Michael Jackson when he approached the urinals. It was evident right away that one of the urinals carried more than the disinfectant cakes. There was a brown liquid. For just a brief moment, he thought it was perhaps blood until he saw the corn.

     He stopped short.

Who the fuck put coffee and spilled corn in the urinal? It has to be an asswipe lawyer.

He threw the cake in his trash trolley, took out a sponge and cleaned it up in a few seconds. It was a first in that he had to touch shit. He remembered his gloves too late. Usually, he put them on, but the shock of seeing shit in the urinal made him forget his habit to his immense regret. He was touching shit. In that moment, someone came in. A polite cough.

     “Rough morning, eh?” The man in the suit said. He smiled. Mark almost punched him in the mouth. Instead he gave him a quick glance, taking in his brand name pin striped suit that reeked the word lawyer. The huge brief case in this hand made it clear. It was beige and as wide as two briefcases, and had a gold handle. The man placed it near the sinks while he walked up to two urinals away from Mark as if was afflicted. Mark turned his glance into a stoic acknowledgment, yet he seethed in disgust with his misstep.  The man glanced over and smiled. Mark felt the man’s eyes on him and looked at him. He appeared familiar, his mind remembered the face but uncertain why.

     Jayden smiled inside more but showed fake sympathy. He needed to be at the scene of the crime. It wasn't much, but it was a start, and now he needed to see the person clean it up. That was the end he had not imagined well he had but it didn't give him the thrill he thought because he realized he had to see it in person. The janitor was muscled, and taller. Not an immigrant which surprised him. In his mind, it would be someone of a third world country, but the man doing it appeared to be well groomed, shaped and spoke fluent english which surprised him to no end.     

     “Tough job, eh. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.”  Play it cool. Be sympathetic. Mark nodded and then spoke iup.

     “Well it is a shitty job. Get it?” Jayden blanched a bit at the humor. The guy was supposed to disgusted and pissed not making jokes. Shit is not funny business. It is serious. Jayden choked a bit, but he also realized he was out of time. He could only stand at the urinal so long. He zipped up in a flash, and walked over to the basin. He decided to give it one final shot.

     “It’s probably some kind of stupid college or high school prank. It doesn't make it suck any less. I am sorry.”

     “Nah, its cool. I handled worse. This is nothing,” Jayden lied smoothly. For some reason, he did not want to give the satisfaction to the office guy that his job sucked. He smiled again, broadly. Showed him the aw shucks routine. Jayden seethed.

     The hallway loomed in front, the ceiling light illuminated the carpet strip as if leading the way to his altar. Jayden took special precautions this time. He consumed a whole bottle of “Colon Blast” to ensure this time he did not strain. As it was, his stomach groaned from the exertion. This was it. It was not the softee he wanted but beggars couldn't be choosers. It was late, so late that the only people in the building besides him were the security guards in the lobby and the janitor. That's the one he was aiming for. That's the one who dared smiled at shit. Lets see how he liks this. He walked faster as his bowels threatened to leak. And he rushed.

     The bathroom lights turned on as soon as he walked in. They were on some sort of timer. That made his entrance feel grander as if the bathroom was waiting just for him. He needed to get it out. He dropped his pants as soon as he passed the sinks, letting it lie in a heap as he pulled his underwear down. All caution thrown to the wind. A mistake, because as he sat down on the urinal and let loose, he heard footsteps. He panicked. He got up shitting halfway, leaving the a trail of shit all over the floor. The footsteps got closer. For a moment, he thought about going into the stall, but that made no sense. In desperation, he ran and pulled up his pants, put them in seconds, feeling the shit cover his back, but Jayden didn't care. He needed to get out of there. He had to go!

     Mark walked up the floor slowly. He loved that he could take his time to clean as there was so much time to fill. He had his headphones one and grooved to a podcaster by Zen Master Kadoeey. He enjoyed the hour long length lectures on how to best use gratitude and the best of oneself to improve the world. He walked leisurely

.

     “Gratitude is the way to open yourself to the possibilities of life. Too often, we get caught up in the present moment and engage in worry and other emotions instead of enjoying the moment for what it is.”  Mark paused the podcast at that and reflected on that. He liked to take time with these lectures as they gave him a sense of peace and understand that he did not get when talking to others. He paused and went into one of the offices, sat at one of the desk facing a huge bay window that seemed to show all of the city. He gazed out the skyline taking in San Francisco in its electrical glory. The view mesmerized him, and he felt a special moment. Then he saw, more like felt someone, streak by the doorway of the office that he sat in. He jerked up.

     Jayden ran to his office, feeling as if all the lights in the hallway illuminated his exit. They felt like spotlights, and he couldn't bear the wetness of the shit his pants. Some shit still dribbled out of his ass, and he truly regretted taking the medicine. He thought he saw someone in the main office, but it could be his paranoia. He sped up anyway. The last thing he needed was company. He flew by the doorways, each office not his and he just wanted to get into this office closer where he always kept a spare. Then he heard shuffling down the hall, and he stopped short.

     I am gonna get caught, I am gonna get caught. Shit, shit, shit. My career is over. All over a toilet bowl. Jayden knew the executives sometimes stayed late when there was big up start up news coming. He needed to get away and quick. He looked around. His office was too far, but he had to make it so he began slowly jogging, all the while feeling the slime in his pants. He also smelled something funky well atleast to him.  He wondered how he had gotten to this point, but for now, the focus was how to get out of it. He half walked, ran, feelng like he was disabled the way his buttocks clenched to keep the tide from coming out, and he felt the other person moving around. Time was running out.

     Mark wondered who was up so late. He was used to an empty building except for the sleeping guard in the lobby who really did not do much and could not anyway at his size. Mark wondered how a three hundred pound obese man got a job that possible involved chashing people. It made no sense. Johnny was a jovial enough guy. Always offering to share his snack of which has considerable, his supposed “energy” food for the night shigt. He probably took the shift so he could eat guilt free. How did people get to this point where eating became a disease.  He needed to getout of this job sometimes when he watched the guard scarf down a dozen stuffed jelly and chocolate doughnuts almost daily. In fact, he used Johnny as his inspiration to stay lean when he was tempted to cheat at eating. So it wouldn't be Johnny. It had to be someone working late. That explained it. That’s whats going on.

     He wondered if he should take his headphones out and look busier than he was. But then it hit him that at 4am, who was he kidding. Ther was no reason to pretend formality when he was working the night shift. He left the hallway and headed towards the bathroom. While the offices were generally easy to clean, the bathrooms he saved for last since they took a bit longer, but he needed to go as well so he figured once he took a shit, he would clean it all then. As he walked up to the bathroom, he saw that the lights were on which were motion activated which meant either was there. He paused for a second. The last thing he wanted to was take a dump while someone was there. It was an old childhood habit when his older brothers made noises as he went ot the bathroom which resulted in him becoming extremely shy going to the toilet.

     He took a breath, and went inside. The light highigted every corner, but there was no one there. Mark wondered if it came on because of a random movement, but then it hit him tha the person who he had felt before perhaps went to the bathroom, and then he saw it. The middle urinal brimmed with brown liquid that could not be anything but shit. It took Mark a few seconds to register that there was shit in the urinal. Why? Why would someone do that? He stared off into space and looked away and then back to the urinal. Splatters of shit on the side walls of the urinal, the urinal cake no longer visible due to being filled with shit. He stared and wondered what to do. The first instinct was to call his Supervisor but this time. He already knew what he would say. Clean it up!

     Jayden repeatedly pressed on the elevator button, the liquidy presence really getting to him. He couldn’t clench his buttocks hard enough as shit still leaked out. Why did he have to take so much. What the fuck was he thinking? He had over prepared. The elevator seemed to take forever. HE watched the numbers come up slowly as if the elevator wanted to get him caught. During the day, the elevators were quick to deposit people to their levels, but today it was taking a leisurely stroll to get to him. One, two, three, then a pause. Who could be using the elevator at this time? Jayden was on the 27th floor. He could not risk being seen like this. He looked around for the stairs, they were down the hall. Why that was so didn't make sense to him at the moment, but he ran towards there.  He only needed to go down two floors anyways to his office. He had checked out all the bathrooms before picking the one. HE was glad it wasn't on his floor although he knew if he ahd the opportunity he use that one too. He yanked at the door for the stairs. Locked.  He tried again, but the door didn't budge. Panic arose inside Jayden. This was not looking good.

     He ran back to the elevators. He saw that one elevator was two floors away. He stood there. He pushed the button on the elevator across him just in case. It made no sense but it gave him something to do. The elevator came up slowly. One more floor. Jayden wondered how much time he had taken to go to the stairs and back. Did the elevator stop again? He had no way of knwowing. Then the elevator chimed, announcing its arrival to where he was. Jayden broke out in a sweat. He sat there and waited for his verdict.

     Mark made a decision. He went first in the stall, all the while muttering to himself this is what normal did. They used the fucking toilet bowl not a fucking urinal to do their business. What the fuck was wrong with people. Then he wondered how he was gonna clean it up. He knew but he didn't want to tnik about it. He would have to double glove it. There was no other option. He imagined if he could make a scoop out of something to get it and that’s when he gagged. He got madder. Who. The. Fuck. Did. This.  He would get to the bottom of it if that was the last thing he ever did. He would catch the asshole who thought it was funny to shit in urinals.   

     The doors opened. No one there. Jayden sagged in relief, and quickly got in. He punched floor 17 since that's where his offie was, but more importantly a spare suit. As an attorney, he always had a spare suit in case he had to make an emergency appearance, which happened on a weekly basis since their firm had over 500 global clients which meant endless litigation involving all manners of suits. They were a generalist firm in that they did whatever their clients wanted in the courtroom. Specilization was for dummier. Their mantra was just get the business, and the billing hours. We will figure out the specialization on their dime.  At $500 an hour, it was easy to do not much work and get paid a lot as long as he was doing “research.”

     The elevator chimed as it announced its arrival, and Jayden stepped out in a hurry, aware of the liquid runnig down his legs now. He limped walked to his office, and he got closer, he heard shuffling. Fuck who could it be?  Who was there at this time. Probably some brown nosing first year associate. The noise came from his office. Jayden froze. Who was in his domain. Although it was an open plan office, anyone that knew the hierarchy also knew you did not go into partners office without permission. That was a no no. Whovever was there had to go.

     Mark walked fast, looking around, trying to see who was in the building. It was time this messed stopped, and he was just about done with this job except he knew this was the only way in. He had to come in from the bottom because no way was this lily white place going to hire a black from the ghetto or really from anywhere. That's how places like this worked, they supported their own. Being different was not an option, but laws changed even though they said times changed so he took the route well I started from the ground floow. But he never thought he would be dealing with a shitter. It was bad enough he cleaned up toilers but now he had to do urinals this way. Hell naw man, that shit is not right. I need to get that punk ass caught. Tell the bosses and tell them they had a sicko.   He was lost in thought when he passed one of the offices, and saw some movement. Who could that be? Someone was here and he needed to know who except he asnt ready when he was Senior Partner Jayden Lee walk up towards.

     “Hello, Sir, you are here early.” 

     The partner looked him up and down as if unsure who it was, but Mark had only mret him like 50 times before. All the black ones probably look the same to him. Mark stood there with a silly grin on his face, feeling as if he ws shucking and jiving and for a moment hate for himself coursed throught him.

     “Mark, I think you probably miss me on this floor because I usally work in the back conference rooms are for the associates that way I am not disturbed. I noticed that you work the night shift mostly, why is tha?” Mark felt as the partner wanted him gone and he didn't care to straggle anyway. He felt dirty after he had to clean out the urinal, he’d used think cardboard paper to scoop the shit out because the urinal was decided for liquid which had helped a bit as some went down but there was just too much of it. It was not designed to hold massive quantities. He nodded and moved on,

     Jayden closed his office door quietly and then went to get the suit. He would be going commando as he had forgotten to bring under garments. He promised himseld that next time he would hav a full set. It was a close one and he knew it. He needed to be smarter and now that he knew his adversary it also meant he had to be more careful.. That last thing he needed was a board meeting about his unfortumate desires. It would take a huge buy out to get rid of him, but did he really want his shit to be his legacy?

     Mark knew that what happened was weird, but something about the white partner bothered him. He was a bit overly friendly and what was he doing there so late?   In his experience, the big wigs came late and left early but then again Jayden also happened be a big deal so he did come in when he wanted and he billed at percentages not hourly rates since he took on big clients. Mark would love to pick his brain one of these days so he resolved to next time ask if he could watch him in action, provided it wasn't privilged. It would make his novel more realistic. That was the main goal.

     Jayden felt humiliated but his own actions, but was also more determined. He realized that planning to shit in the urinal was not working out and he had to go with his orignal fantasy if he truly wanted to be satisfied. That was the spirit. It was time to let go when he felt like and not make it about quantity but the the experience.

     Mark wondered if Jayden was the one, but it didn't make sense why a senior partner would do this, but then again he hadn’t seen anyone else. If it was a Jayden, it was more complicated as just reporting it to the boss since Jayden was the Boss’s boss. Did Mark really want to mess with that and mess up his chance to come in to the business. Look at all the time he had for his novel too, and he really like the job. But Mark also knew that was happening was escalating and whoever was doing it intended to make his job shitty. He had to do something, but what he wasn't sure, and then it hit him. He needed to catch the person in the act, it was the only way to get it to stop. Mark had a brief image of the person squatting on the urinal, wondering how it worked sicne he never would have thought to do this in a million years. He needed to think like the person to catch him in the act.

     Night shift made the most sense since that was where when the toilets were empty the most. Mark considered the security desk, but the places he had found did not make sense since the bathroom was next to the lobby and the entrnce and one needed a passkey to get to the other floors, so a security guard would have to be really reckless to do that. But Mark needed to gear up. The time for futzing about was done. He wasn't planning on taking this shit lying down. He had to get to it. So Mark began walking the halls far more frequently and noted who stayed late. He saw that most people stayed was 3am but with trials sometimes it was all nighters, but those ere far in between. When a trial came on there, was a different type of energy and buzz, and in his heart Mark did not believe those people to do it.  

     Jayden waited a few days. The time to lose his shit was not now. He needed to ensure that he did not lost his fantasy and his job all over some shit. He needed to play it cool.  He had to make sure what happened last night did not happen. It also irked him that he became child like in his fear. He had connections and he needed to own it like a boss not be a little bitch. He could tell that black janitor was paying attention. That was his real adversary, he always knew whent o know his opponents. Never take them for granted, that was his motto. He got his personnel file and noted that Mark had a JD which meant he was a bar exam away from a lawyer. He admired his even though he didn't want to. Mark had plans and his plan of action meant placing him in a place to win. Jayden liked that about him. This was not a $9 an hour flunky. He needed to be careful. So Jayden aiting and he watched Mark without making sure Mark saw him. They were playing a cat and mouse game and both knew it.  

     It was time. Jayden felt it as soon as he entered the bathroom. The clock on his phone read 420am. For once, Jayden was actually working and not biding his time. His team prepped for a trial potentially worth a billion dollars. He felt powerful, knowing he could shape the future of a major client. The facts felt aligned to his vision that the clients engaged in a pattern of illicit behavior that focused on illegal constructions, bribery and other methods that gave it an edge not available to his client, and top of that also maintained a network of spies in his clients work so they knew about deals firsthand. All this was part of their strategy to feed of the client not their scarps. They wanted to be big dog by not competing but by trying to kill it.

     Jayden knew the stakes and yet his focus was on the urinal. He needed to unload soon so back to the bathroom he went. The room went ablaze with light when he walked in. It seemed to welcome him and he wasted no time by going to the urinal notmiddle but not the first one either. He was two urinals away from the stall in case he neeed to make a quick escape there. There was no waiting, it seemed his body had accepted the urinal as a place to do both duties and he felt his bowels release. He felt his life complete in a minute and it was all that he wanted to imagine and then he heard it. He heard the rush of the steps and he knew that Mark knew and had waited to catch him in the worst position as his pants were to the floor and he didn't care because what could that youngin do it him. He was unbreakable. Power surged through him in the belief that Jaydent could do no wrong. So he sat there and waited.

     Mark came barging thought the door, and at first, the sign made of sense. He had made plenty of noise so the person could atleast be decent because he already knew it had been Jayden, the senior partner. There was no way around it. As mucha s Mark hoped it was someone junior, no one stayed consistenly late as much as Jayden did so he didn't know what to expect when he had to ask Jayden, but this made it much easier. They started at each other.

     “Not what you were expecting, eh Mark?  Well, I will make this simple for you. If I were you I would pretend you didn't see me.” He said this while still seated, it felt a bit weird and Jayden felt self conscious in a way he dint think possible. Yet there he sat on his throne talking to one of his subjects. He had admit that created a thrill, but the fantasy was over, Now Jayden was in full damage contro. He had to nip this in the bud otherwise it would be embarrassing.

     “Why?” That's all Mark could croak out. He had to know. He already knew that his options were limited so might as well know what the hell was going on.  

     “Why not?  I mean seriously why not? At first, I just thought about it but now I have done it it feels like the right thing to do. I not only own this building but I own this toilet. I don't know how else to explain it. That's just the way  it is.

     “Well you are going to clean it up.” 

     “You are out of your mind. Why do you think we hire people like you? So you can take care of it.’

     “Not this time Jayden. I cleaned enough of it, and let me tell you thank you.” Jayden didn't understand until he saw that Mark held his phone in his hand.

     “I have been recording yout he entire time. Yes I know its not admissible, but I don't need it to be. It will be enough to destroy your reputation.” AT that, Jayden scrambled up and ran to the stall. Mark walked over to the stall, he heard Jayden panting not from exertion but from fear.

     “I will make this simple for you Jayden, I am going to leave the bathroom now. When I am back for my rounds in an hour I better not see anything more than piss in the urinal. Are we clear? I will leave this phone on your desk once I see that its done. I am not interested in your shit, and I am done with this position. And oh yeah, you will recommend me for a new job starting next month. By now, I hope you can see what I can contribute, and it's not shit.  What do you say Jayden?

     Jayden wiped his ass while he listened to Mark. I can’t believe I got myself in this position. How could I be so stupid, but he kid is giving me an out. Yet the lawyer in his could just not allow this to happen without a fight of some sort.

     “So you are blackmailing a senior partner? How long you think you will last with that kind of behaviour?”  He paused for effect. He heard Mark shuffling around as if pacing. Good that good, let him squirm.

     “Jayden you are kidding yourself if you think that I am going anywhere, I am choosing this company in spite of your behavior. I will stay not because of you but only if I succeed. I will make you so much money that it would hurt you. I am offering you a good deal here. I just want a way in. I am using an opportunity to get in and for you to get out. Let’s stop kidding each other and make this deal. You know you want to get out the stall. So, here’s the phone.” With that, Mark kicked it underneath stall and walked out.

     Jayden waited a long moment before he opened to the stall to an empty bathroom. He saw that Mark had left his cleaning supplies. He grabbed the gloves and walked towards the urinal, his dreams crushed and disgust filling his heart.